This is something I didn't tell anybody. Seriously, because it was a small matter but I made it look like a huge matter. But wait, you don't know how I feel inside, and I don't need to explain it to you.
I came home last week because a lot of class were cancelled. So I quickly decided that I'm going to bake when I get home. So I bought everything at Hero after deciding to bake Red Velvet Cupcakes.
The thing is when I bake, I like to watch the videos, aside from just reading the recipes. I like to do the exact way to do it. It doesn't say in the recipe to use any specific type of mixer. But the video used this kind of mixer (I don't know how to explain) but I know that it's expensive and it looks nothing like my cheap mixer. Okay, I don't want to sound ungrateful, but this is not the first time I've used the mixer, and the batch didn't turned out well.
But the cupcakes batch turned up well, they always do. It's the stupid frosting. Every time I use heavy cream for frosting, it wont whip completely, and so it has no peak, it couldn't stand on it's own. It's too runny. I was so pissed at the frosting that I cried.
Please, I beg, PLEASE! Do not judge me for crying. Everybody else was just laughing it off when I cried, like how could I cry over a simple, minute matter. YOU DON'T GET IT. From what you did, you just made me feel as if crying is a sign of weakness, when what I feel actually, crying is just a form of expression. I FEEL A LOT BETTER AFTER THAT. They keep saying that I should just let it go because the taste is good, it's only un-presentable. They had to pour the frosting on top of the cupcake instead of piping it properly.
This happened unconsciously, but after settling down and everything (meaning fixing the frosting by making another butter cream frosting), I thought about what happened.
The truth is, I baked because I wanted to bake, not because I wanted to eat the red velvet cupcakes. If I wanted to eat it, of course I'd be okay if the frosting were ruined by appearance, because the taste is still there. If I wanted to just eat the cupcakes, I would've gone to the mall and bought some, right?
And the reason I want to bake so badly, is because... I'm in Perak now, when am I going to bake again, especially when I barely come home? Sounds like a bad excuse right? But it's the truth.
Sadly, no one know this. I didn't tell anybody, I was too busy crying and fixing the cupcake.
...and now they think I'm just this weak creature who cries when she spoiled her own cupcake.
